Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Bonus Check
Thank you Mr. Charlie Hoogland, for the awesome $50 bonus check you sent and personally signed for me this year! I greatly appreciate it, I would also highly appreciate the names and phone numbers of any and all of your single and eligible bachelor sons, nephews, grandsons who might be a good fit for me to play wife to. thank you!!
:)
:)
Monday, December 20, 2010
most amazing dad in the world belongs to me
my dad is the best. i love him sooooo much. he is beyond wonderful to me and my brother. greatest dad in the world. he does amazing things in such small, simple ways that he deserves so much credit for.
today i got a card in the mail. nothing overly special, just a nice little holiday card since i wont be around for xmas and he'll be in mississippi. inside was a check for $250 and in the memo line...it read "merry xmas"
i love my dad so much!
i am a lucky girl, i am a daddys girl, i am my daddys girl!
today i got a card in the mail. nothing overly special, just a nice little holiday card since i wont be around for xmas and he'll be in mississippi. inside was a check for $250 and in the memo line...it read "merry xmas"
i love my dad so much!
i am a lucky girl, i am a daddys girl, i am my daddys girl!
ty's back!
so my sneaky skillz got tyler an interview at famvid for him to reapply to work there again. today was his interview and i was there chit chatting with chris while mike interviewed him and it was a giant success! tyler is back!!!! we are such a power team now. chris, kevin, josh, me, tyler, chris putney, zoo, and joyce!!!! we are gonna rock it!!!!
awesomeness!
awesomeness!
Monday, December 6, 2010
guilty for falling
im falling....and flo called me out on it...i've adamantly denied it for a while now. but whats the use in lying. im falling. i cannot help it. i dont want to. there is not a single good reason for me to fall....but im falling nevertheless.
the end.
random side note: i want to have a baby...i want to have a family. like soonish. like now-ish. i would even be happy with a demon danforth child at this point!
the end.
random side note: i want to have a baby...i want to have a family. like soonish. like now-ish. i would even be happy with a demon danforth child at this point!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Consideration and Respect
Are these to things too much to ask of people these days? Consideration and respect. Simple requests, but apparently too difficult for a few soul-less beings I unfortunately have had the displeasure of meeting and living with.
"A little Consideration, a little Thought for others, makes all the difference." -winnie the pooh
"A little Consideration, a little Thought for others, makes all the difference." -winnie the pooh
Thursday, December 2, 2010
post thanksgiving celebration day
so i have some of the best friends in the entire world. two of them i hung out with for 12+ hours yesterday and it was definitely interesting. alyssa, chris, and i decided it would be awesome to have a post thanksgiving day meal and movie/game day since we all were kinda screwed out of our normal thanksgiving day celebrations with our families. i went over to their place at noon and the cooking festivities began ! alyssa and i girl chatted here and there since it had been like a week and a half since we've seen each other. josie was normal josie and jumping all over me, full of excitement that i was there. once the hens were in the oven cooking into yumminess...the three of us played some Wii Party...that was entertaining for a little bit. we re-commenced the cooking after that and had a beautifully delicious meal sitting in front of us for our enjoyment while watching Avatar. we def. all were stuffed...no one finished the food on their plates and chris was half passed out on the couch. i attempted to wash the dishes...but with space contraints only managed to get half of them washed before i re-joined them to watch the movie. we made it like 3/4 of the way through the movie before we were all bored to death. i watched chris play some Fallout New Vegas on his PS 3 (this is actually a fairly entertaining game to watch someone else play). but then alyssa was on facebook and telling us she was bored...so we decided it was time to start the drinking and cards. we played a handful of rounds of A-hole, of which i won most....im getting way too good at that game. however i must admit that game is def. more fun when we have sam there too...because it becomes more challenging with the additional person. but much to all of our disappointment sammy couldnt join us because he was sleeping. his work schedule sucks this week....he is work monday through friday 8 pm to 8am...ick. but whatever...we def. can survive without sam...we've done it many times before. post cards....we played some more Wii Party and it was fairly lame. we all were kinda in a blah mood because we werent doing anything really exciting. we played this game called friend connection, which was mildy amusing because alyssa and i scored a big fat "0" and chris and me scored a "48" making us "comrades." oddly enough chris and alyssa also scored exactly "48," hahahaha. weird.
so i was def. not feeling good at this point....my head was throbbing and i was a little dizzy (and i only had two drinks like a good hour before this). so i wasnt feeling to upbeat...but i knew the fresh air would help and maybe a change of scenery would be good...it was only 10pm so i didnt just want to go home and go to bed...how lame would that be. so we all buddled up and went to double days to play darts. now this is where the real fun began. i took a couple of pills and chugged an ice water and in like 15 min i was feeling a lot better. we played like 4-5 rounds of darts! chris unfortunately won them all..but i was super close on a couple. the three of us had some intense talk about relationship issues, certain people, and how the minds of guys work. i was very intrigued by this conversation, it was highly interesting to get chris' opinion and hear his insight into different things. i hope to have a few more convos like this in the future.
post double days i dropped them back at their apartment then headed home where i crashed and slept slept slept. the sleep felt good....only until i was rudely woken by hammers and pounding from people working on the laundry machine in my building. dumb. so i stumbled out to my couch where i passed out for another 3 hours..woke up at noon, ate food....which i think my body was desperately wanting, watched some tvs and started decorating my apartment for xmas.
on another positive note...i got my package in the mail...my movie miniseries i ordered!!!! the 10th kingdom! im excited because this means another all day event with chris and alyssa sometime!
so,
+ yesterday, wednesday = successful post thanksgiving
+ today, thursday = 10th kingdom arrived
+ tomorrow, friday = work midshift :) then girls night out
+ saturday = off
+ sunday = off and football!
+ monday = maybe MofA, if not then either cancun or Double days!!
- tuesday = closing shift which was originally an open, boo
- wednesday = open shift post closing shift, eww, then josie
- thursday = open shift while watching josie
+ friday = mid shift :)
+ saturday = open shift, then night off
8 +'s to 3 -'s ......totally awesome week/week ahead!!!
so i was def. not feeling good at this point....my head was throbbing and i was a little dizzy (and i only had two drinks like a good hour before this). so i wasnt feeling to upbeat...but i knew the fresh air would help and maybe a change of scenery would be good...it was only 10pm so i didnt just want to go home and go to bed...how lame would that be. so we all buddled up and went to double days to play darts. now this is where the real fun began. i took a couple of pills and chugged an ice water and in like 15 min i was feeling a lot better. we played like 4-5 rounds of darts! chris unfortunately won them all..but i was super close on a couple. the three of us had some intense talk about relationship issues, certain people, and how the minds of guys work. i was very intrigued by this conversation, it was highly interesting to get chris' opinion and hear his insight into different things. i hope to have a few more convos like this in the future.
post double days i dropped them back at their apartment then headed home where i crashed and slept slept slept. the sleep felt good....only until i was rudely woken by hammers and pounding from people working on the laundry machine in my building. dumb. so i stumbled out to my couch where i passed out for another 3 hours..woke up at noon, ate food....which i think my body was desperately wanting, watched some tvs and started decorating my apartment for xmas.
on another positive note...i got my package in the mail...my movie miniseries i ordered!!!! the 10th kingdom! im excited because this means another all day event with chris and alyssa sometime!
so,
+ yesterday, wednesday = successful post thanksgiving
+ today, thursday = 10th kingdom arrived
+ tomorrow, friday = work midshift :) then girls night out
+ saturday = off
+ sunday = off and football!
+ monday = maybe MofA, if not then either cancun or Double days!!
- tuesday = closing shift which was originally an open, boo
- wednesday = open shift post closing shift, eww, then josie
- thursday = open shift while watching josie
+ friday = mid shift :)
+ saturday = open shift, then night off
8 +'s to 3 -'s ......totally awesome week/week ahead!!!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
writing a book
Title: 101 Reasons Sam Danforth is a Douche Canoe
Reason:
1.
2.
3.
4.
i'm leaving the reasons blank for right until i've got a collection of 30-40...it'll keep the suspense growing. ha. i will also work on a dedication page at some point too ;) that should be fun.
oh i just love how i managed to fall for entirely the wrong guy. oh heart....why do you do this to me?
Reason:
1.
2.
3.
4.
i'm leaving the reasons blank for right until i've got a collection of 30-40...it'll keep the suspense growing. ha. i will also work on a dedication page at some point too ;) that should be fun.
oh i just love how i managed to fall for entirely the wrong guy. oh heart....why do you do this to me?
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
i think i really really like him. i want to admit it to him...but i know the response i get will not be what i want. so i will keep my mouth zipped shut and take what little bits and pieces of attention i can get when i get them. and i know i should stop, but i dont want to. i like him.
i just dont know how to say it.
i just dont know how to say it.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Josie
josie josie josie...
today is day 1 of doggy sitting.
so far ive been licked, kissed, jumped on, cuddled, barked at, drooled on, and jumped on some more!
hahahaha only 5 more days! this is gonna be fun :)
today is day 1 of doggy sitting.
so far ive been licked, kissed, jumped on, cuddled, barked at, drooled on, and jumped on some more!
hahahaha only 5 more days! this is gonna be fun :)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
ripple effect
some people need to realize that every single decision and choice we make in life...small or big....has an effect. a ripple effect. you may not be able to always see that effect, but that doesn't mean it's not there. think people think! please you your brain and think before you act about how these choices may affect everyone around you and those you never thought possible.
i will attempt to take my own advice. we are only human. we make mistakes... but the difference between a good soul and a bad is whether or not we choose to care about our mistakes and try to mend them.
i will attempt to take my own advice. we are only human. we make mistakes... but the difference between a good soul and a bad is whether or not we choose to care about our mistakes and try to mend them.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
recap of the past few days
in summary:
thursday night--alyssa's 21 bday
- overall it was super fun and crazy
- drank too much
- won at darts
- laughed until i cried a couple of times
- fell asleep like 3 times on sam (picture to prove it)
- had awesome chick talk in the living room with kev and patrick included
us girls...how cute are we?
the evidence that i had too much to drink
friday--recovery
- slept in until like 12:30ish
- headache until like 3
- sam gave me a ride back to my car and was a dick about it
- worked 5-close with josh
this is sam...a poopy person
saturday--haunted house + halloween night out
- woke up early to shower, get dressed, and costume make-up done
- worked the haunted house at work from 1-9
- super fun day at work
- ate dinner with emily
- met up with flo, mark, joyce, wyatt, chris, alyssa on water st.
- chris was being a bit of douche...so i ditched and went home
- got a text that jaimie got engaged to eric (which makes me hate my life)
- remembered that it was laurens wedding (which makes me hate my life)
- showered and went to bed really late
me and alyssa aka poison ivy and harley quinn
me and the boss man...and yes he always looks this way
sunday-- halloween
- slept like crap
- watched some football
- worked 4-close
- dealt with crappy, stupid customers
- went home...to bed...couldn't sleep...slept like crap
monday-- normal work day
- woke up early to shower
- got called into work an hour early
- didnt eat anything all day (since like 7pm the night before)
- worked 9-5pm and got a headache
- changed clothes and went to cancun with chris, alyssa, josh, rehanna
- got really drunk off of ONE margarita and an empty stomach
- went to inception with them, only dozed off 4-5 times & texted sam during movie
- got home at like 10:30 and crashed
i wish i would have not been so out of it for this movie...im so confused now
tuesday-- day off
- slept in until 9:30...like 10-11 hours of sleep...felt great
- watched four movies, and last weeks greys anatomy episode
- went to walmart, bought hair dye and chocolate
- didnt get my text i was both hoping and not hoping for
- didnt make any stupid decisions
interesting past few days.....glad i had the day off. not looking forward to working 5-close tomorrow, 5-close thursday, and then opening 9-5 friday...however AM looking forward to having friday night and all of saturday off!!! possible game night with flo and maria!!! :)
wish for the night....to have peaceful, solid sleep again tonight like i did last night without any dreams about sam. but im not gonna hold my breath.....i cannot get him off of my mind. totally in lust with him. ugh.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
holiday season here i come
happy holidays? i think not...its more like filthy rich courtney holidays. i just signed up VOLUNTARILY to work xmas eve, xmas day, new years eve, new years day!
am i crazy? YES
am i self-less? YES
do i like the idea of more money? YES
do i love famvid? YES
holiday season will be an interesting one this year...def. a first!
am i crazy? YES
am i self-less? YES
do i like the idea of more money? YES
do i love famvid? YES
holiday season will be an interesting one this year...def. a first!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
the good guy
just watched this movie called "the good guy" and it really hit home....i know what i want and i know what i truly do deserve...the good guy.
i want the guy who is generous, thoughtful, funny, passionate, sensitive but still manly, assertive w/o being aggressive however passive when necessary.
i want a great guy...dont need perfect...no such thing...just want the perfect guy for me.
what i dont want...the douchebag...the guy that is aggressive, arrogant, selfish, cocky, the guy that keeps me as a back-up plan, the on and off again guy.
i dont want the player, i want the keeper.
good movie, watch it!
i want the guy who is generous, thoughtful, funny, passionate, sensitive but still manly, assertive w/o being aggressive however passive when necessary.
i want a great guy...dont need perfect...no such thing...just want the perfect guy for me.
what i dont want...the douchebag...the guy that is aggressive, arrogant, selfish, cocky, the guy that keeps me as a back-up plan, the on and off again guy.
i dont want the player, i want the keeper.
good movie, watch it!
Monday, October 18, 2010
im an idiot
i think im dumb. no pause. rewind...replay..i know i am dumb.
i made it 3 full weeks w/o sort of contact and i stupidly cave and give in and text in an effort to be nice. why. why bother....oh idk maybe because of curiosity. perhaps because im still slightly attached....or maybe its all of that plus im just a nice person. but the most frustrating part is not the fact that i sent a text its that i didnt get even a rude reply back...i got nothing. nothing is the worst because it leaves you hanging by a thread and wondering. i would have rather gotten a response telling me i suck at life and i eff off....honestly that would have been better than nothing. being unacknowledged is the worst sort of treatment someone can do to you. its the cruelest form of being mean. and i set myself up for this all by trying to be nice. ugh.
oh well....live and learn, right? apparently i have a little more living to do and a lot more learning.
i just want my happily ever after and i want it now. or at least a glimmer of one would be nice.
all i know is that he better not come to dinner after ignoring the text, ha ha...i wont be friendly. (unless of course i have been texting a completely random person....which would be horribly amusing in and of itself)
this is all for now.
until tomorrow night....hopefully i will have a positive recap.
i made it 3 full weeks w/o sort of contact and i stupidly cave and give in and text in an effort to be nice. why. why bother....oh idk maybe because of curiosity. perhaps because im still slightly attached....or maybe its all of that plus im just a nice person. but the most frustrating part is not the fact that i sent a text its that i didnt get even a rude reply back...i got nothing. nothing is the worst because it leaves you hanging by a thread and wondering. i would have rather gotten a response telling me i suck at life and i eff off....honestly that would have been better than nothing. being unacknowledged is the worst sort of treatment someone can do to you. its the cruelest form of being mean. and i set myself up for this all by trying to be nice. ugh.
oh well....live and learn, right? apparently i have a little more living to do and a lot more learning.
i just want my happily ever after and i want it now. or at least a glimmer of one would be nice.
all i know is that he better not come to dinner after ignoring the text, ha ha...i wont be friendly. (unless of course i have been texting a completely random person....which would be horribly amusing in and of itself)
this is all for now.
until tomorrow night....hopefully i will have a positive recap.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
wine and whine.
first official courtney and flo's wine and whine night was a success.
found a new brand of pizza we both liked....taste tested a variety of wine, liked some more than others. at least now i know i have more options than just moscato d'asti.
good girl talk, funny talk, roommate dish, and a fair amount of whining! yes! success!
found a new brand of pizza we both liked....taste tested a variety of wine, liked some more than others. at least now i know i have more options than just moscato d'asti.
good girl talk, funny talk, roommate dish, and a fair amount of whining! yes! success!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
beauty and the beast
i just bought my first ever blu-ray yesterday ! i am super excited about it!
it's beauty and the beast and with it i get a blu-ray, dvd, and bonus feature all in one. its a 3-disc special! of course i have already watched it! in addition they offer you a free charm from disney. its super cute! its the rose from the movie.
i cannot wait to get more! i really wanna get snow white and sleeping beauty because those are out right now. so is pinnochio...the only thing is they are expensive. but disney only re-releases movies from the vault every 10 or so years. and its kinda like an investment, right? i will have these movies forever so that my kids can watch them too. they are classics. but what is even more exciting is.....next fall (2011) they are re-release the lion king on blu-ray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is another realllllly good disney movie!
it's beauty and the beast and with it i get a blu-ray, dvd, and bonus feature all in one. its a 3-disc special! of course i have already watched it! in addition they offer you a free charm from disney. its super cute! its the rose from the movie.
i cannot wait to get more! i really wanna get snow white and sleeping beauty because those are out right now. so is pinnochio...the only thing is they are expensive. but disney only re-releases movies from the vault every 10 or so years. and its kinda like an investment, right? i will have these movies forever so that my kids can watch them too. they are classics. but what is even more exciting is.....next fall (2011) they are re-release the lion king on blu-ray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that is another realllllly good disney movie!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
i'm back!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah thats right...i'm back...its not fair to me to stop blogging because of fear that some people will not like what i have to say. and the same goes for censoring what i have to say. if you don't like it or can't handle it (you know who you are), the solution is simple...DONT READ IT!
this is my one form of venting that i do for me...and no one is going to take this away from me. no one! deal with it or move on.
so since i managed to NOT blog for about 3 weeks...there has been a decent amount of things that have been left unmentioned.
so in short:
-my brother and i are "okay" i think...but apparently he doesnt remember calling me
-my kitty, Cabo, was sick there for a while and it was about 300 dollars that i had to pay to make him better
-i got a $0.50 raise at work! woots
-i spent three days last week working in Menomonie setting up our new family video and it was soooo much fun. i wish every week could be like that. met so many awesome people. had a blast.
-had friday/saturday of homecoming weekend off.
-spent friday night with flo, drinking and talking and babysitting the stupid roommates there while they played beer pong in the kitchen. ugh. spent more of friday night at chris and alyssas...alyssas parents were in town and all drank and played loaded questions the adult version. it was hilarious and akward!
-spent saturday night with flo...drove to turtle lake to get her mail, visited her mom, hit up the TL casino...won $30.
-sunday was first day back at my FamVid in 5 days of being away and had the worlds crappiest customers that day. one even made me cry.
all in all, it has been epic since i stopped blogging...so im back!
this is my one form of venting that i do for me...and no one is going to take this away from me. no one! deal with it or move on.
so since i managed to NOT blog for about 3 weeks...there has been a decent amount of things that have been left unmentioned.
so in short:
-my brother and i are "okay" i think...but apparently he doesnt remember calling me
-my kitty, Cabo, was sick there for a while and it was about 300 dollars that i had to pay to make him better
-i got a $0.50 raise at work! woots
-i spent three days last week working in Menomonie setting up our new family video and it was soooo much fun. i wish every week could be like that. met so many awesome people. had a blast.
-had friday/saturday of homecoming weekend off.
-spent friday night with flo, drinking and talking and babysitting the stupid roommates there while they played beer pong in the kitchen. ugh. spent more of friday night at chris and alyssas...alyssas parents were in town and all drank and played loaded questions the adult version. it was hilarious and akward!
-spent saturday night with flo...drove to turtle lake to get her mail, visited her mom, hit up the TL casino...won $30.
-sunday was first day back at my FamVid in 5 days of being away and had the worlds crappiest customers that day. one even made me cry.
all in all, it has been epic since i stopped blogging...so im back!
Friday, September 17, 2010
goodbye for now
So last night I got a drunk phone call from my brother, we talked things out and i think will be ok...however, he admitted to me that he reads my blog regularly and some of the topics i vent about are frustrating to him. i am also making the assumption that my ex reads my blog regularly as well...so since i apparently cannot write about the things that do and are occurring in my life...i am taking a mini vacation from posting anything on my blog.
in addition to the drunk phone call...i received a few too many (drunk) texts from andy that felt very harassing...so again i will be stepping away from the blog for a few weeks. or well at least i plan to try to stay away for at minimum a couple.
sorry.
in addition to the drunk phone call...i received a few too many (drunk) texts from andy that felt very harassing...so again i will be stepping away from the blog for a few weeks. or well at least i plan to try to stay away for at minimum a couple.
sorry.
menomonie
So this coming week at work my schedule is as follows:
Saturday 11am-7pm
Sunday 4pm-close
Monday 4pm-close
Tuesday 12-7pm
Wednesday 4pm-close
Thursday 6pm-close
Friday OFF
Saturday OFF
Sunday (not sure yet...hopefully 4-close!)
then all of this week...i'll be working in Menomonie, WI helping set up the new famvid that opens on either the 1st or 2nd of October. I'm excited to be doing something different and have a break from customers and my store in general and still get paid!!!! I'm pretty sure it'll be the most boring, easy, slacker week ever! just unpacking, scanning, and shelving movies all day long from 10am-6pm :)
and in other good news...chris put in an eval/review for me with our DM...so hopefully i will be getting a baby raise soon!!!!!
Saturday 11am-7pm
Sunday 4pm-close
Monday 4pm-close
Tuesday 12-7pm
Wednesday 4pm-close
Thursday 6pm-close
Friday OFF
Saturday OFF
Sunday (not sure yet...hopefully 4-close!)
then all of this week...i'll be working in Menomonie, WI helping set up the new famvid that opens on either the 1st or 2nd of October. I'm excited to be doing something different and have a break from customers and my store in general and still get paid!!!! I'm pretty sure it'll be the most boring, easy, slacker week ever! just unpacking, scanning, and shelving movies all day long from 10am-6pm :)
and in other good news...chris put in an eval/review for me with our DM...so hopefully i will be getting a baby raise soon!!!!!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
serendipity
so ive been craving to watch the movie serendipity again realllllllly bad. even checked out how much it would cost to buy at walmart ($13...i'll pass). well tonight i got my wish....i watched it again...but it wasnt at all how i pictured it. ugh. sam wanted to watch it with me...not just let me borrow it...so blah blah blah...we totally made out and the night ended with me getting kicked out because i wouldn't sleep with him because i knew he was kinda sorta seeing this other girl. and i didnt want to do that to her behind her back. hahahahaha so he got mad that i thought i knew what was going on his in life...told me that he didnt need a babysitter and he def. wasnt seeing anyone and told me to get the f out. hahaha normally i would be soooo mad at this point, but all i can do is laugh. its soooo funny to me how bi polar he is. he was the one who said...."im done with you and your bs blah blah blah" and then tonight he is the one instigating a hot make-out session, then flipping on a dime when i have a conscience. ha.
too funny.
oh sam sam sam....you are definitely not serendipity for me!
too funny.
oh sam sam sam....you are definitely not serendipity for me!
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Dew
you know its going to be a sucky day when i start my morning off with a mountain dew....yes..me courtney..passed up a diet dew (my lifes drug) for a rich, sugary, caffeine-y mountain dew!
i worked 5-12:30am at work last night, went to bed at 2:30am...woke up at 4:30am, went back to bed at 5...woke up at 7....and have to work 9-5pm today!
i am expecting death to hit me at 4:45pm. :(
oh and on a bright note ha ha NOT....my stalker came into work last night...not once, but twice.....ewww. thanks life. thanks for sucking the big one.
oh and p.s. i have but like 2 friends...flo and my cat cabo! great life.
i worked 5-12:30am at work last night, went to bed at 2:30am...woke up at 4:30am, went back to bed at 5...woke up at 7....and have to work 9-5pm today!
i am expecting death to hit me at 4:45pm. :(
oh and on a bright note ha ha NOT....my stalker came into work last night...not once, but twice.....ewww. thanks life. thanks for sucking the big one.
oh and p.s. i have but like 2 friends...flo and my cat cabo! great life.
Friday, September 10, 2010
what is a friend?
what is a friend? what does that word mean?
right now im partially clueless because apparently i thought i had more friends than i actually do. sad day for me i guess.
oh well. the end.
right now im partially clueless because apparently i thought i had more friends than i actually do. sad day for me i guess.
oh well. the end.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
happy birthday
A SUPER GIANT HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOES OUT TO MY FRIEND/MANAGER CHRIS HAHN! I HOPE HE IS ENJOYING HIS BIRTH-WEEK!!! BUT TODAY IS OFFICIALLY HIS BIRTH-DAY!!!!!! SO YAY!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
i want sleepy sleep. please.
so i could not fall asleep for the life of me last night...so i thought heck, i have to open up at work tomorrow anyway...why not shower at night and sleep in a little later, plus showering usually helps me fall asleep. nope...didnt work. dont get me wrong...the warm shower felt good, highly relaxing, but no extra help in getting me to fall asleep. so when i finally do fall asleep...i have dreams, dreams, dreams. thank goodness they were the typical "sam" dreams...but get this...all i am dreaming about all night/morning long is family video and customers, sales, customers, meetings with the management team, sales, organizing movies, sales, customers. wow....you know its bad when you wake up...jumping up in the middle of your bed thinking you ought to go grab the movie for the customer because you know exactly where it is, then kinda finally waking up and realizing you are sitting in your bed not a movie store. wow. i need help.
and now its 8:38 and i have five minutes before what?...before customers, sales, organizing movies...oh and lets throw in there late calls...cuz god knows those are my absolute favorite things to do at work. i love to call people and remind them that their movies are late. NOT.
bonus happy thought of the day though: i am off from today (Tuesday) 4pm to Friday 5pm! wooot wooooot!!!!!
and now its 8:38 and i have five minutes before what?...before customers, sales, organizing movies...oh and lets throw in there late calls...cuz god knows those are my absolute favorite things to do at work. i love to call people and remind them that their movies are late. NOT.
bonus happy thought of the day though: i am off from today (Tuesday) 4pm to Friday 5pm! wooot wooooot!!!!!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
recap and look into the week ahead
wednesday night after closing at work, i convinced tom to go on a walk with me around EC at like 1am. We walked all over for a good couple of hours. post walking, we went to perkins to indulge in yummy, well-deserved food. we had great conversation and way too many laughs. i loved every second of it!!!! it was amazing!
seeing as i didnt get to bed until 5am thursday morning...i slept in until 3pm, got up, went to famvid to rent movies, showered, and made plans to have a alyssa come over to hang out at night. she had a few work friends that were planning on going out to water and she wanted me to come with. i happily agreed. it was fun hanging out at her work people's house and chit-chatting...they were really fun people. but alyssa and i were both super tired and didnt really want to go out so we planned on only making a 15 min appearance on water. our night was cut real short due to a lapse in judgment. you see thursday was the first day of the college school again and there were a crap ton of cops out on water and alyssa only had a fake id on her. we should have just chickened out and went home...but she wanted to see her friends so we continued. she got busted. and it was expensive and dumb because we've gotten in there before all summer long. stupid. not cool. bad end.
so moving onto friday. friday i met up with flo around 11:30am and we caught up on the dramas in our lives and walked to water street to get lunch. we ate at the goat and it was amazing. the staff was awesome, the food was great, and the ambiance was perfect. the only drawback of our adventures that day was the misting rain/snow (still up for debate what it was, lol). we hung out at gilbert until the realtor came to show the house to a client about 4:30. after that i came home and had a super hot, relaxing shower and watched the tudors for a couple of hours until chris called me telling me to get over to his house at 8:30. he, alyssa, and me all played cards, A-hole, to be specific for a couple of hours. it was actually really fun. then sam came over and the four of us played a few more rounds of A-hole, some black jack...then we switched it up and played Apples to Apples. OMG this was amazing. sooooo much fun! ridiculous. this was night one of birthday week for chris !!! the rest of the week will be hopefully just as fun and exciting!
yay!! for birthday week!
seeing as i didnt get to bed until 5am thursday morning...i slept in until 3pm, got up, went to famvid to rent movies, showered, and made plans to have a alyssa come over to hang out at night. she had a few work friends that were planning on going out to water and she wanted me to come with. i happily agreed. it was fun hanging out at her work people's house and chit-chatting...they were really fun people. but alyssa and i were both super tired and didnt really want to go out so we planned on only making a 15 min appearance on water. our night was cut real short due to a lapse in judgment. you see thursday was the first day of the college school again and there were a crap ton of cops out on water and alyssa only had a fake id on her. we should have just chickened out and went home...but she wanted to see her friends so we continued. she got busted. and it was expensive and dumb because we've gotten in there before all summer long. stupid. not cool. bad end.
so moving onto friday. friday i met up with flo around 11:30am and we caught up on the dramas in our lives and walked to water street to get lunch. we ate at the goat and it was amazing. the staff was awesome, the food was great, and the ambiance was perfect. the only drawback of our adventures that day was the misting rain/snow (still up for debate what it was, lol). we hung out at gilbert until the realtor came to show the house to a client about 4:30. after that i came home and had a super hot, relaxing shower and watched the tudors for a couple of hours until chris called me telling me to get over to his house at 8:30. he, alyssa, and me all played cards, A-hole, to be specific for a couple of hours. it was actually really fun. then sam came over and the four of us played a few more rounds of A-hole, some black jack...then we switched it up and played Apples to Apples. OMG this was amazing. sooooo much fun! ridiculous. this was night one of birthday week for chris !!! the rest of the week will be hopefully just as fun and exciting!
yay!! for birthday week!
Monday, August 30, 2010
friends
i love chris and alyssa! so much fun!!!!!!!!
what an amusing night...so glad i was there for all of it! :)
but unfortunately i realize now that i am back home post dinner/famvid visit....i am bored...and totally wired from that sole margarita i had.
and ned cancelled on me for tonight...we were planning on watching twilight together. boo.
and obviously i love flo to pieces! cannot wait for our day out in the park and sun and picnic and just enjoying the weather and outdoors this week!!!
another thing i realized just now is that i need not more friends as in high quantity, but a couple more higher quality friends that i can spend nights/times like this with just hanging out talking, walking, watching movies with, etc.
it's a shame that i am not better friends with trent, sam, adam (if he were still in the EC area), my brother (if he were here and not in lax), etc......i need a movie-lounge buddy! just someone that i can hang out with and it be totally relaxed and laid back! i need to find one soon...either that or a boyfriend...but really i dont want a boyfriend...just the friend part would be cool.
what an amusing night...so glad i was there for all of it! :)
but unfortunately i realize now that i am back home post dinner/famvid visit....i am bored...and totally wired from that sole margarita i had.
and ned cancelled on me for tonight...we were planning on watching twilight together. boo.
and obviously i love flo to pieces! cannot wait for our day out in the park and sun and picnic and just enjoying the weather and outdoors this week!!!
another thing i realized just now is that i need not more friends as in high quantity, but a couple more higher quality friends that i can spend nights/times like this with just hanging out talking, walking, watching movies with, etc.
it's a shame that i am not better friends with trent, sam, adam (if he were still in the EC area), my brother (if he were here and not in lax), etc......i need a movie-lounge buddy! just someone that i can hang out with and it be totally relaxed and laid back! i need to find one soon...either that or a boyfriend...but really i dont want a boyfriend...just the friend part would be cool.
Miss Nothing
"Miss Nothing" by The Pretty Reckless
I'm miss autonomy, miss nowhere.
I'm at the bottom of me.
I'm miss Miss androgyny, miss don’t care
What I've done to me
I am misused, I don’t wanna do
Be not your slave
Misguided, I mind it, I'm missin the train.
And I don't know where I've been
And I don't know what I'm into
And I don't know what I've done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On miss nothing, miss everything
I’m miss fortune miss so soon
I’m like a bottle of pain
Miss matter you had her
now she’s goin’ away
I'm misused, misconstrued
I don’t need to be saved
Miss slighted, I mind it
I'm stuck in the rain
And I don't know where I am
And I don't know what I'm into
And I don't know what I've done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On miss nothing, miss everything
Miss everything
And as I watch you disappear into my head
Well, there's a man who’s telling me I might be dead
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
So I’ll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything!
I'm miss autonomy, miss nowhere.
I'm at the bottom of me.
I'm miss Miss androgyny, miss don’t care
What I've done to me
I am misused, I don’t wanna do
Be not your slave
Misguided, I mind it, I'm missin the train.
And I don't know where I've been
And I don't know what I'm into
And I don't know what I've done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On miss nothing, miss everything
I’m miss fortune miss so soon
I’m like a bottle of pain
Miss matter you had her
now she’s goin’ away
I'm misused, misconstrued
I don’t need to be saved
Miss slighted, I mind it
I'm stuck in the rain
And I don't know where I am
And I don't know what I'm into
And I don't know what I've done to me
And as I watch you disappear into the ground
My one mistake was that I never let you down
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On miss nothing, miss everything
Miss everything
And as I watch you disappear into my head
Well, there's a man who’s telling me I might be dead
So I'll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
So I’ll waste my time, and I'll burn my mind
On Miss Nothing, Miss Everything!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
i need help....apparently
so i keep dreaming about sam. every flippen night..he has a guest appearance in my dream world...it's so dumb. i cant even find piece when im sleeping, let alone the battle i have with my thoughts when im awake. fml. last night was the kicker...my dream was beyond weird. i was back in school. and danita was in class with me, it was an english-history mix (kinda like the one i had in high school). she and i sat in the first row together and sam sat kitty corner behind us and who sat next to him...tracy did. sooo dumb...why does she get the luxury of guest starring in my dream too....as if i am not already threatened by her because she is a) prettier than me b) sam's first and c) apparently still hanging out with him now that he and i dont "hang out."
and not only was my dream a nightmare because of the people in it...the dream itself was crappy because we were in an english-history class learning about horrible, awful murders by these two brothers back in the late 1800s...we took a field trip to where some of the murders occurred. then the dream turned into this scary haunted house like vibe where the murderers were still there and hunting us all...but at this point it was just me and a few other random people running and hiding for our lives. of course there was no knight in shining armor, but i guess i should be thankful that my phone alarm went off so therefore i did not die in my dream...it's probably just left "to be continued." oh joy...im soo looking to finishing that dream. ick. pass. i hope that tonight i am soooo exhausted after closing at work that i just crash instead! yes please!!
it's just so frustrating...i want to be either a) rid of all things and thoughts- sam or b) just find some closure in talking to him and just finding a happy medium where it's just not dumb anymore...no more wondering....just talk so i can move forward, because he clearly has.
and not only was my dream a nightmare because of the people in it...the dream itself was crappy because we were in an english-history class learning about horrible, awful murders by these two brothers back in the late 1800s...we took a field trip to where some of the murders occurred. then the dream turned into this scary haunted house like vibe where the murderers were still there and hunting us all...but at this point it was just me and a few other random people running and hiding for our lives. of course there was no knight in shining armor, but i guess i should be thankful that my phone alarm went off so therefore i did not die in my dream...it's probably just left "to be continued." oh joy...im soo looking to finishing that dream. ick. pass. i hope that tonight i am soooo exhausted after closing at work that i just crash instead! yes please!!
it's just so frustrating...i want to be either a) rid of all things and thoughts- sam or b) just find some closure in talking to him and just finding a happy medium where it's just not dumb anymore...no more wondering....just talk so i can move forward, because he clearly has.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
The Vampire Diaries
I'm hooked. So the first season of the Vampire Diaries was one of the pre-streets at famvid this week because it comes out on Tuesday. So out of curiosity I rented it (since it was free for me) and now i am completely hooked. There are like 20 episodes all at like 45-50 min each and i have been watching them all since thursday night at 7 until last night at like 1am. it is crazy...but i am fully up to speed with the series and cannot wait until the new season starts this september.
it is darker than twilight but not as "adult" as true blood (which by the way is an amazing series)!!!! but along with this new curiosity and found appreciation for the VD...i have a new character/celeb crush hahaha. Damon Salvatore = yum. he is the "bad" vampire brother of the two salvatore brothers in the show and i find him super sexy. the character is def. the bad boy...but hooks and pulls you in with his momentary slip ups where he shows slight and subtle glimpses of redeeming qualities. kinda reminds me of someone i know personally....which is all the more reason why i probably like the character, but whatever. anyway the actor that plays him oozes with sexiness..even though he's not typically my type...but then again...do i really have a type anymore...have i every really had "a type"???
well just for a point of reference as far as looks go...i will post a couple of pics below of the sexy and talented Ian Somerhalder aka "damon salvatore" from the VD.
Sexy, right? His eyes are amazing!
it is darker than twilight but not as "adult" as true blood (which by the way is an amazing series)!!!! but along with this new curiosity and found appreciation for the VD...i have a new character/celeb crush hahaha. Damon Salvatore = yum. he is the "bad" vampire brother of the two salvatore brothers in the show and i find him super sexy. the character is def. the bad boy...but hooks and pulls you in with his momentary slip ups where he shows slight and subtle glimpses of redeeming qualities. kinda reminds me of someone i know personally....which is all the more reason why i probably like the character, but whatever. anyway the actor that plays him oozes with sexiness..even though he's not typically my type...but then again...do i really have a type anymore...have i every really had "a type"???
well just for a point of reference as far as looks go...i will post a couple of pics below of the sexy and talented Ian Somerhalder aka "damon salvatore" from the VD.
Sexy, right? His eyes are amazing!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
First Date
So this might sound silly...but I want to go on a date. Like a real, legitimate first date. I have never experienced one before. A date where you and the guy don't know each other much beyond the very basics, the guy opens doors and pays, and you spend the entire time just talking and possible hand holding. All innocent and no pressure other than those little nervous fluttering butterflies.
I want this.
So hopefully sometime in the next few months, a guy whom is worthy of my attention will walk into my life and ask me out on my first official real "first date."
:)
I want this.
So hopefully sometime in the next few months, a guy whom is worthy of my attention will walk into my life and ask me out on my first official real "first date."
:)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
shaved legs
so after 2 weeks of wearing only pants because i havent been ambitious enough to shave my legs....i finally did, this morning. i now have silky, smooth legs! yay! :) i always feel amazing after i shave my legs....i don't know why i feel like this. but it just brings something out of me. my girly side, my energetic side, my positive side. I just love the feeling of clean and smooth legs.
so because shaving my legs is not a quick task....it does take a good 10-15 minutes added onto my shower time, i find that my mind wanders.
so here were/are my thoughts from the shower/shave time:
-i miss the feeling of having a boy...a boy that is "mine"...to cuddle with and just sit with on the couch in silence and watch a movie.
-i miss going to bed laying next to someone that i can snuggle with
-i want to have a baby someday...like the clock is ticking and i dont even have a man in my life
-i have never been on a real first date. that might be nice.
now although this sounds kinda negative...i am hopeful about all of this. i feel that it will all happen for me! and when its supposed to. i just hope i dont have to wait too long. but i know that i need to learn to put myself out there and keep my mind and heart open to meeting people...because someday the right one will find me.
but like i said...it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with in the mean time. oh well.
so because shaving my legs is not a quick task....it does take a good 10-15 minutes added onto my shower time, i find that my mind wanders.
so here were/are my thoughts from the shower/shave time:
-i miss the feeling of having a boy...a boy that is "mine"...to cuddle with and just sit with on the couch in silence and watch a movie.
-i miss going to bed laying next to someone that i can snuggle with
-i want to have a baby someday...like the clock is ticking and i dont even have a man in my life
-i have never been on a real first date. that might be nice.
now although this sounds kinda negative...i am hopeful about all of this. i feel that it will all happen for me! and when its supposed to. i just hope i dont have to wait too long. but i know that i need to learn to put myself out there and keep my mind and heart open to meeting people...because someday the right one will find me.
but like i said...it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with in the mean time. oh well.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
stupid me
Today marks the one week mark since the bad night with the boy. I still cannot figure out how something so casual and a light-hearted night could have possibly turned into a rough, uncomfortable, and miserable one. He was supposed to be fun, friendly, risky, and exciting. He was. It was. For a while. Until something changed....I don't know what made him snap or why he got so "intense" last Tuesday night. I want to know why. I want answers. I don't want answers. I want my $50 back. I want contact again. I don't ever want to talk to him again. I am so back and forth with my thoughts and emotions. I want my knee to heal. I want my marks to go away....I kinda don't want them to go away just yet though..they are my reminders of why I should never have contact again with the boy. But we are bound to cross paths...we run in the same circle of friends....i am still so sick with curiousity and lust for him though.
I will stay strong and at least have many things to occupy my time with so at least my mind won't wander during the day...only at night when im in bed and during my dreams.
stupid me.
I will stay strong and at least have many things to occupy my time with so at least my mind won't wander during the day...only at night when im in bed and during my dreams.
stupid me.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
the last song
i totally cried again watching The Last Song for the second time. i know im lame...but i just cant help it. the little brother in that movie plays his part so well!
watch it...its a good movie
watch it...its a good movie
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
the good outweighs the bad
Lately my life has been a roller coaster, up and down, up and down, up and down.
Positive- I have a new apartment. It is a one bedroom apartment that has a full kitchen and a small, but perfectly decent living room.
Negative- I am scared to live alone, although a little excited.... still very nervous to take on this new adventure.
Positive- I bought a new TV for my apartment. It is a 46" Samsung LCD flat screen and I purchased a Bluray player to go with it =)
Negative- My brother and the ex, Andy, both recently deleted me from facebook. Lovely, huh? Yeah the crap just pretty much hit the fan with those two and me...and I just don't care anymore. They just keep judges and harassing me. I'm over it.
Positive- I am doggy sitting Josie right now and she is such a crazy fun dog. So energetic..pretty sure I have like a million little scratches from her constantly jumping on me.
Negative- I still need to move my bed into my apartment, but I need man power...ugh. And once I do get it moved, I'm definitely scared to sleep alone in my place.
Positive- I am on decent terms with Sam. I think we are even friends, ha. Well I mean he helped me move furniture twice already and Alyssa, him, and me all hung out and did dinner. It was fun ;)
Negative- I am stuck with the truck for another week or so until a) I get my bed moved and b) until I can get more time off of work to drive back to lax and switch vehicles.
ok....im bored of blogging...this is all i can offer for right now.
Positive- I have a new apartment. It is a one bedroom apartment that has a full kitchen and a small, but perfectly decent living room.
Negative- I am scared to live alone, although a little excited.... still very nervous to take on this new adventure.
Positive- I bought a new TV for my apartment. It is a 46" Samsung LCD flat screen and I purchased a Bluray player to go with it =)
Negative- My brother and the ex, Andy, both recently deleted me from facebook. Lovely, huh? Yeah the crap just pretty much hit the fan with those two and me...and I just don't care anymore. They just keep judges and harassing me. I'm over it.
Positive- I am doggy sitting Josie right now and she is such a crazy fun dog. So energetic..pretty sure I have like a million little scratches from her constantly jumping on me.
Negative- I still need to move my bed into my apartment, but I need man power...ugh. And once I do get it moved, I'm definitely scared to sleep alone in my place.
Positive- I am on decent terms with Sam. I think we are even friends, ha. Well I mean he helped me move furniture twice already and Alyssa, him, and me all hung out and did dinner. It was fun ;)
Negative- I am stuck with the truck for another week or so until a) I get my bed moved and b) until I can get more time off of work to drive back to lax and switch vehicles.
ok....im bored of blogging...this is all i can offer for right now.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
"he's a sucky person"
To steal a line from Lauren Conrad of the Hills on MTV. "He's a sucky person."
This is exactly how I feel about Sam! Sam is a sucky person. I entered a mild FWB situation with him and he treated me like crap throughout. And then finally when he didn't get what he wanted aka just the benefits...and I gave him a taste of his own medicine meaning I was sarcastic and rude to him...he got mad. I called it off to end it, and his go-to reaction is to delete and block me on facebook...good for you sam danforth. good for you. you are mature. you are an adult. good job. you threw away the one girl that was only looking for fun and no serious strings attached other than a little respect and friendship for your right hand. again good job. hope you and your right hand are happy together because you will be alone for a long, long time. why? it's simple...because you, sam, are a "sucky person." you are delusional and have a messed up idea of what friends vs. bf-gf means. Lucky for you...you get no benefits, I'm pretty sure everyone at menards hates you, and I am stealing your friends away one by one.
Hope your happy. and good bye sammy!!!
This is exactly how I feel about Sam! Sam is a sucky person. I entered a mild FWB situation with him and he treated me like crap throughout. And then finally when he didn't get what he wanted aka just the benefits...and I gave him a taste of his own medicine meaning I was sarcastic and rude to him...he got mad. I called it off to end it, and his go-to reaction is to delete and block me on facebook...good for you sam danforth. good for you. you are mature. you are an adult. good job. you threw away the one girl that was only looking for fun and no serious strings attached other than a little respect and friendship for your right hand. again good job. hope you and your right hand are happy together because you will be alone for a long, long time. why? it's simple...because you, sam, are a "sucky person." you are delusional and have a messed up idea of what friends vs. bf-gf means. Lucky for you...you get no benefits, I'm pretty sure everyone at menards hates you, and I am stealing your friends away one by one.
Hope your happy. and good bye sammy!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
confused
i feel a little confused on the inside right now. i am trying to not let myself feel, but human nature is undeniable and unavoidable. so here i am trying to pretend....but i am lying to myself a little each time. i want something real, i want to feel more...but i know there is nothing more to be had. so should i continue with where i am and be dissatisfied and yet satisfied both at the same time or should i stop myself now before attachment sets in. hmmm. things to consider. but i cannot stop thinking about the possibilities. life is a silly thing.
i shall ponder about this for the next few hours while at work and write more soon about my thoughts.
and yes this was all in code...if you know me, you know this...if you dont...dont bother asking.
i shall ponder about this for the next few hours while at work and write more soon about my thoughts.
and yes this was all in code...if you know me, you know this...if you dont...dont bother asking.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
life update
-i am gonna be full time now at family video which means i am staying eau claire for one more year!!!!
-i am on the hunt for the perfect one bedroom apartment
-i've been FWB a couple of times with sam and oddly i like it...even through all the frustrating moments
-wendy (andys sister) is engaged...and it is driving me nuts! i cannot understand how everything was so perfect for me and now its just turned upside down and the battles i had with feeling accepted and appreciated by the once soon-to-be in-laws were so difficult for me and so easy for tim (wendys financé)
-andy and my brother taylor are coming to ec tonight to party it up on water street and it bugs me because a) i have to work all night long closing and b) i love my brother and think it would be awesome to see him...but im just not ready to see andy
-i have stupid tan lines from getting burnt earlier in the summer and i cant get rid of them
-i miss my baby cabo!
-happy 4th of july for me...i get to work 6-close friday, 5-close saturday, 4-close sunday, 12-7 monday, and close again on tuesday night....lucky me!
-i am on the hunt for the perfect one bedroom apartment
-i've been FWB a couple of times with sam and oddly i like it...even through all the frustrating moments
-wendy (andys sister) is engaged...and it is driving me nuts! i cannot understand how everything was so perfect for me and now its just turned upside down and the battles i had with feeling accepted and appreciated by the once soon-to-be in-laws were so difficult for me and so easy for tim (wendys financé)
-andy and my brother taylor are coming to ec tonight to party it up on water street and it bugs me because a) i have to work all night long closing and b) i love my brother and think it would be awesome to see him...but im just not ready to see andy
-i have stupid tan lines from getting burnt earlier in the summer and i cant get rid of them
-i miss my baby cabo!
-happy 4th of july for me...i get to work 6-close friday, 5-close saturday, 4-close sunday, 12-7 monday, and close again on tuesday night....lucky me!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Better with you
song of the day:
"Better with you"
by Fives times august
So maybe I've got a lot to learn.
Or maybe I'm just hangin' on my words.
Maybe it's not a big concern.
But, if I raise my hand will I understand why I'm better with you?
So maybe there's not a lot to say
Or maybe i've grown doin' things my way (Yeah)
Or maybe things will be okay.
But if I get it together and do something clever, I'll make it better with you
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like i was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So let me say it all again.
So maybe there's not a lot to do.
or maybe I'm just makin myself confused.
Or maybe i've got nothin' to lose.
But if I get out of line, just tell me you're mine, and how I'm better with you.
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like I was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So use me, don't let me screw it up.
I believe you oh, I need your touch.
Just a little spice of you could never be too much
I believe you oh, I need you now
to make it better all somehow.
To make it better all somehow.
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like I was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So use me, don't let me screw it up.
I believe you, oh, I need your touch.
Just a little spice of you could never be too much.
I believe you oh, I need you now
to make it better all somehow.
To make it better all somehow.
"Better with you"
by Fives times august
So maybe I've got a lot to learn.
Or maybe I'm just hangin' on my words.
Maybe it's not a big concern.
But, if I raise my hand will I understand why I'm better with you?
So maybe there's not a lot to say
Or maybe i've grown doin' things my way (Yeah)
Or maybe things will be okay.
But if I get it together and do something clever, I'll make it better with you
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like i was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So let me say it all again.
So maybe there's not a lot to do.
or maybe I'm just makin myself confused.
Or maybe i've got nothin' to lose.
But if I get out of line, just tell me you're mine, and how I'm better with you.
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like I was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So use me, don't let me screw it up.
I believe you oh, I need your touch.
Just a little spice of you could never be too much
I believe you oh, I need you now
to make it better all somehow.
To make it better all somehow.
So tell me, where did I go wrong before you?
Before you came along, well it seems like I was lost.
You showed me how to do things right, now I'm, so glad that now you're mine.
So use me, don't let me screw it up.
I believe you, oh, I need your touch.
Just a little spice of you could never be too much.
I believe you oh, I need you now
to make it better all somehow.
To make it better all somehow.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pray for you
Flo had CMT on this morning and a song she had told me about a few months ago came on. It had different meaning for me then and was meant for someone else...now it is the way I feel for a particular meanie. It's entertaining. enjoy!
"Pray For You"
by Jaron & The Long Road to Love
I haven't been to church since I don't remember when
Things were going great til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can't go hatin' others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do his job, you just pray for them
I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you
I'm really glad I found my way to church
Cause I'm already feelin' better and I thank God for the words
Yeah, I'm gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messin' up, and I'll keep prayin' for you
I pray your tire goes out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend
And wake up with his and her tattoos
I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far
In your house or in your car
Wherever you are, honey, I pray for you
I pray for you
"Pray For You"
by Jaron & The Long Road to Love
I haven't been to church since I don't remember when
Things were going great til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you can't go hatin' others who have done wrong to you
Sometimes we get angry but we must not condemn
Let the good Lord do his job, you just pray for them
I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you
I'm really glad I found my way to church
Cause I'm already feelin' better and I thank God for the words
Yeah, I'm gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do
You keep messin' up, and I'll keep prayin' for you
I pray your tire goes out at 110
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend
And wake up with his and her tattoos
I pray your brakes go out runnin' down a hill
I pray a flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flyin' high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far
In your house or in your car
Wherever you are, honey, I pray for you
I pray for you
here is gone
my new thing...if and when i find a song that fits my current mood/day i plan to post all the lyrics for you all to read and for me to come back to and remember at a later time.
so this was my song of choice for yesterday and the lyrics to go with it. it's a good song and some of the lyrics are how are feel about someone so they just fit.
"Here Is Gone"
by the Goo Goo Dolls
You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I dont need the fallout
Of all the past that's in between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
And I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah
so this was my song of choice for yesterday and the lyrics to go with it. it's a good song and some of the lyrics are how are feel about someone so they just fit.
"Here Is Gone"
by the Goo Goo Dolls
You and I got something
But it's all and then it's nothing to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah
And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah
I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I dont need the fallout
Of all the past that's in between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone
And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
And I can feel you falling
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah
I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
bad vs good
i cant stop thinking about the bad guy....he is so intriguingly attractive to me. and the more he is cold and dumb, the more curious i get. our make-outs were so passionate and fun...daring. but he is stupid and doesnt want to hang out, probably because he wanted gold and came up with bronze. so how do i get over the bad guy or get his attention back??? or should i even care? probably not.
then there is the good guy. he is super cute and fun and nice. but i get the friendship vibe from him...but was told from a male friend that the good guy has to at least like me a little bit to go out to dinner/movie/mini golf with me. but i feel i need a little sign first before i can either a) tell him i like him or b) be bold and make a small move. how do i get my sign to differentiate between friend-like or like-like????
wait wait wait... or push push push for answers...what to do what to do???
and the war between good vs. bad continues on
then there is the good guy. he is super cute and fun and nice. but i get the friendship vibe from him...but was told from a male friend that the good guy has to at least like me a little bit to go out to dinner/movie/mini golf with me. but i feel i need a little sign first before i can either a) tell him i like him or b) be bold and make a small move. how do i get my sign to differentiate between friend-like or like-like????
wait wait wait... or push push push for answers...what to do what to do???
and the war between good vs. bad continues on
Sunday, June 20, 2010
reception fun
it was my cousin chads and my new cousin maika's wedding reception last night and it was interesting! def. fun and a typical hamilton night of shenanigans. my dad got me drunk. my brother made my dad do two shots. my dad danced and sang like a crazy person but that is why i love my dad and also why i fear my own wedding reception at some point in the future. but at least it is never a dull moment at a hamilton function! we retired from the party at 10:30pm wow....go us ha ha ha ha what a bunch of tired, light-weights! :)
i love my family!
i love my family!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
happy birthday andrew
today is andys 23rd birthday and i am no longer on speaking terms with him for a while after our fight/phone call yesterday. ugh.
its just so stupid.
its just so stupid.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
the new me
so my goal for this summer is to simply have fun!
i have changed my name of facebook just slightly...ditched the last name and added my middle name.
deleted 87 friends in a 24hr period.
read an amazing book called "why men love B****es"....and it is full of so much information. i loved it! i read it all in 2 days! seriously amazing.
i am thinking about dying my hair dark dark brown again to go with the new "me"
its more like an improved, summer courtney!
i have also been making nice with more people than i had had in my life before...and i love hanging out with people. so far the list includes lindsey, alyssa, chris h, trent, sam..but not so much anymore, forever florence (she is my girl), mark (because hes a new roomie so it kinda works), and tyler.
also have one road trip for the summer already planned...valleyfair here we come! so excited.
so what else can i improve? hmmm...the only thing missing is a boy for the summer...we'll work on that if i feel like it later.
i have changed my name of facebook just slightly...ditched the last name and added my middle name.
deleted 87 friends in a 24hr period.
read an amazing book called "why men love B****es"....and it is full of so much information. i loved it! i read it all in 2 days! seriously amazing.
i am thinking about dying my hair dark dark brown again to go with the new "me"
its more like an improved, summer courtney!
i have also been making nice with more people than i had had in my life before...and i love hanging out with people. so far the list includes lindsey, alyssa, chris h, trent, sam..but not so much anymore, forever florence (she is my girl), mark (because hes a new roomie so it kinda works), and tyler.
also have one road trip for the summer already planned...valleyfair here we come! so excited.
so what else can i improve? hmmm...the only thing missing is a boy for the summer...we'll work on that if i feel like it later.
Friday, June 4, 2010
a low moment
today...waking up seemed more difficult than other days. it was harder to find the energy and the drive to get up and want to start my day. my head is in la-la land and its definitely going to be a blah weekend. im lonely. i miss having my boyfriend. i miss having a partner in life, to hear all of my problems big and small, to hear all of my funny stories, to simply just sit with and do nothing at all together. i miss having someone to come home to or to wait for them to come home to me. i miss cuddling, kissing, sleeping next to someone, i miss having someone.
being alone is scary. it means that my story is blank right now, unwritten with no direction.
i want someone to kill time with. i want a friend. i want someone to sit with me, eat with me, laugh with me, watch movies with me, hug me, etc etc etc for the summer. i dont want to feel lonely everyday...somedays thats fine...just not everyday. i want a temp. "boy" friend...for the summer....ha ha
im a loser.
so as a pick me up...i'll watch Twilight New Moon
being alone is scary. it means that my story is blank right now, unwritten with no direction.
i want someone to kill time with. i want a friend. i want someone to sit with me, eat with me, laugh with me, watch movies with me, hug me, etc etc etc for the summer. i dont want to feel lonely everyday...somedays thats fine...just not everyday. i want a temp. "boy" friend...for the summer....ha ha
im a loser.
so as a pick me up...i'll watch Twilight New Moon
Thursday, June 3, 2010
WOMP WOMP
one minor regret...
i wish i hadnt let sam make out with me...now it seems near impossible that we can be friends. he took it one level past friendship then was a jerk and blew me off...now its probably gonna be way to weird to try to just co-exist as decent friends. WOMP WOMP. intriguing personality but strange friendship-commitment-line crossing issues with that boy.
WOMP WOMP
coulda been a cool friend...but he had to blow it....its just too bad i didnt stop him way back when he first made a move. coulda saved us both a lot of time and confusion.
WOMP WOMP
oh well....shopping with linds and alyssa tomorrow should make things cheery!!!
i wish i hadnt let sam make out with me...now it seems near impossible that we can be friends. he took it one level past friendship then was a jerk and blew me off...now its probably gonna be way to weird to try to just co-exist as decent friends. WOMP WOMP. intriguing personality but strange friendship-commitment-line crossing issues with that boy.
WOMP WOMP
coulda been a cool friend...but he had to blow it....its just too bad i didnt stop him way back when he first made a move. coulda saved us both a lot of time and confusion.
WOMP WOMP
oh well....shopping with linds and alyssa tomorrow should make things cheery!!!
cutest customer ever
-little boy (about 5) asks me...do you have ghostbusters
-i then proceed to show him where and he responds with "this is my favoritest movie ever"
-he asks my name and tells me his...Isaac.
-he then asks if i want to see him fly....he backs up a few feet, takes off running down the movie isle and jumps as high as he can...turns and asks.."did you see me flying?"
-we chat a little bit about his flying and how impressive it was, i tell him i better get back to work but if he has any questions for me he can ask me anytime
-he has a question..."do you know how much i love girls?"
- so cute...so i say no, how much? and his response was "this much (with his arms held wide open) times the sun)
-15 minutes go by and he comes up with his dad to rent the movies and he flies one more time for me. tells me i should try sometime but not if my back hurts because that can be dangerous.
-i hand him his movies and say goodbye isaac...and he says "I LOVE YOU!"
-omg i melted....so flippen cute!!!!
-i then proceed to show him where and he responds with "this is my favoritest movie ever"
-he asks my name and tells me his...Isaac.
-he then asks if i want to see him fly....he backs up a few feet, takes off running down the movie isle and jumps as high as he can...turns and asks.."did you see me flying?"
-we chat a little bit about his flying and how impressive it was, i tell him i better get back to work but if he has any questions for me he can ask me anytime
-he has a question..."do you know how much i love girls?"
- so cute...so i say no, how much? and his response was "this much (with his arms held wide open) times the sun)
-15 minutes go by and he comes up with his dad to rent the movies and he flies one more time for me. tells me i should try sometime but not if my back hurts because that can be dangerous.
-i hand him his movies and say goodbye isaac...and he says "I LOVE YOU!"
-omg i melted....so flippen cute!!!!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
hot, heat, hot
Tuesday night Lindsey (tylers gf)texted me asking if I wanted to hang out Wednesday afternoon before I had to go to work at 5pm. We decided to take the afternoon to float down the river!!! It was a great time: calm, quiet, good girl talk, relaxing, and warm. I really adore Lindsey; she is a doll. She is so honest and sweet and someone I really bonded with. I am so looking forward to having her as my friend this summer...when with her, I know I will be in good company. Well all the girl talk aside (which there was a lot), we ignored the fact that the sun was out and warm. We were just plain silly and forgot to use sunscreen. So long story short...we both went from pale white to burnt red by the end of our outing. Only bummer is I had to close last night from 5-12:30----ick!!!!
Thank goodness for my co-worker Trent. I love Trent!!! he is a life saver and bought me aloe on his way to work. :) I owe him lots!
Today is now Thursday and my body aches...my skin is burning...but luckily I had the day off...what a good day to recoup!
Lesson of the Week: ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SUNSCREEN!
Thank goodness for my co-worker Trent. I love Trent!!! he is a life saver and bought me aloe on his way to work. :) I owe him lots!
Today is now Thursday and my body aches...my skin is burning...but luckily I had the day off...what a good day to recoup!
Lesson of the Week: ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SUNSCREEN!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
what a lame goodbye
andy came to get the last of his things today after his graduation ceremony. he went to the garage and got his stuff and i think he wasnt even going to tell me he was here. lame. how does he expect me to even want to talk if he doesnt make an effort. it was weird and akward....we felt so distant from each other. i dont want it to be like we are enemies. i love him because he is my best friend. i hate that we dont talk...but yet what is there to say right now...we both need space and time to figure things out. so i guess i cant blame him for not wanting to see me or talk before leaving. its just weird is all.
hopefully he behaves himself and takes care of my little brother tonight since it's tay tay's 21st bday tonight at midnight. eeekk, scary.
the end.
hopefully he behaves himself and takes care of my little brother tonight since it's tay tay's 21st bday tonight at midnight. eeekk, scary.
the end.
the jury is in
sam is no good for me. i think i already knew this though. tyler gave me as good of an explanation as to why sam is a dick to me...but yet i am still confused. why do i even care. i shouldnt.
from here on out NO SAM! for sam to be even the slightest bit worth it...there would have to be an apology...possibly two...dinners/movies/chocolate and space. sam is bad. the jury is in and they have a consensus---NO SAM!
the end.
from here on out NO SAM! for sam to be even the slightest bit worth it...there would have to be an apology...possibly two...dinners/movies/chocolate and space. sam is bad. the jury is in and they have a consensus---NO SAM!
the end.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
the jury is still out
i shall know soon.
however, i hate the waiting game...in fact, i hate all games...
however, i hate the waiting game...in fact, i hate all games...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
late night rambling
bored.
i wish i could fall asleep at a normal, decent hour like most people. my mind wanders all about and i find that i am not tired for bed until like 2-3am...sick, i know.
then i sleep in until 10-11am...what a waste. i need to break this bad habit soon!
so the random thoughts on my mind this very moment include:
-why is my dad on farmville when he is on vacation in bermuda?
-im sad that chuefue is leaving in like a week-ish..there goes a fun co-worker
-im kinda hungry...debating eating another chunk of my toblerone candy bar
-i wonder what tomorrow will have in store for me--day off of work!
-ooh the hills is new tomorrow
-is trent a fake friend?
-will valleyfair actually happen this summer..ooh i hope so
-i miss my baby, cabo
-im sick and tired of my monthly friend--week long, light, two weeks early
-im oddly attracted to sam...but pretty sure a)he's no good for me and b)that ship might have already sailed
-i need to be better about scrapbooking
-i hope my mom liked her mothers day card...i owe her a dinner out
-andy and i got into an argument today. oh joy. its just so complicated, its frustrating
-i should go to gordy's tomorrow and buy corn on the cob...mmmm yummy
-again the toblerone is in my head...i shall eat one bite before bed.
ok enough late night rambling...
-
i wish i could fall asleep at a normal, decent hour like most people. my mind wanders all about and i find that i am not tired for bed until like 2-3am...sick, i know.
then i sleep in until 10-11am...what a waste. i need to break this bad habit soon!
so the random thoughts on my mind this very moment include:
-why is my dad on farmville when he is on vacation in bermuda?
-im sad that chuefue is leaving in like a week-ish..there goes a fun co-worker
-im kinda hungry...debating eating another chunk of my toblerone candy bar
-i wonder what tomorrow will have in store for me--day off of work!
-ooh the hills is new tomorrow
-is trent a fake friend?
-will valleyfair actually happen this summer..ooh i hope so
-i miss my baby, cabo
-im sick and tired of my monthly friend--week long, light, two weeks early
-im oddly attracted to sam...but pretty sure a)he's no good for me and b)that ship might have already sailed
-i need to be better about scrapbooking
-i hope my mom liked her mothers day card...i owe her a dinner out
-andy and i got into an argument today. oh joy. its just so complicated, its frustrating
-i should go to gordy's tomorrow and buy corn on the cob...mmmm yummy
-again the toblerone is in my head...i shall eat one bite before bed.
ok enough late night rambling...
-
Friday, April 23, 2010
waiting...
ok so i think i finally have my life's stress issues in order for the next 4 months...or so i thought.
i have everything almost figured out except im waiting on one person. i dont know if the reason behind why i havent heard anything is because they forgot or if this is a joke to prolong my suffering. i hate waiting. i got the A-ok from all but one and it's driving me nuts. what with this being the reason behind the bulk of my stress and panic for the last month or two...it's just not right to make a person wait like this. either it's a yes or a no.
so please dont make me wait any longer..pretty please. because it's not very nice to torture someone when you know this is the root of their stress. please just let me know.
i really do hope it's just that they forgot...because if this IS a joke to make me wait it out...i will not be happy...in fact i will be hurt.
that's all for now,
court
i have everything almost figured out except im waiting on one person. i dont know if the reason behind why i havent heard anything is because they forgot or if this is a joke to prolong my suffering. i hate waiting. i got the A-ok from all but one and it's driving me nuts. what with this being the reason behind the bulk of my stress and panic for the last month or two...it's just not right to make a person wait like this. either it's a yes or a no.
so please dont make me wait any longer..pretty please. because it's not very nice to torture someone when you know this is the root of their stress. please just let me know.
i really do hope it's just that they forgot...because if this IS a joke to make me wait it out...i will not be happy...in fact i will be hurt.
that's all for now,
court
Monday, April 12, 2010
every ounce
it is taking every ounce of my being to not break down into the biggest and most overwhelming depression of my life so far.
i just want to cry, cry, cry...but i am fighting so hard not to because im afraid if i start....i will never stop.
my life is so far from where i wanted it to be. im not just off the track a little, i am soooo lost in the middle of woods and dont know east from west, north from south.
i keep telling everyone i am fine...im doing ok. better than expected. i keep showing my strong side to people all around me, but on the inside i am FREAKING OUT! i have so many fears. i just want to quit and freeze time right where it is because even though things arent great...they wont be able to get worse.
im sooooo scared of failing, being alone, being broke, losing what little i have left, not having any real friendships in the end, wasting time, being homeless, not being happy.
and in what order am i supposed to prioritize my fears??? how does one even know how to start all over when life takes a turn in the opposite direction? who does one trust when you think everyone is judging you or telling you advice that is superficial or in "their" best interest? how does one learn to live alone when they fear being lonely allllll the time? how does one find that happy medium place between what was and what may be?
and here the tears come....like a waterfall of emotions built up from the past 3-4 months or so.
i have friends, but do i really? who? which ones are "really" my friends...who will "actually" be their for me during the hard times and not just when im in a good mood? why do i always feel like i am initiating everything as of late...and that people (friends, co-workers, family) only go with the flow to avoid hurting my feelings? why why why...i have a million and one questions and thoughts, without any of the answers. do i really even want the answers?
im drowning in attention as of late...but is it all that great? is it really meaningful? maybe it's because i dont have a life and im just the "convenient" friend...the one who is almost always available. i dont know.
ok im done venting for now....just felt the need to let it all out. sorry...im just hormonal and emotional right now...ugh...being a girl sucks!
i just want to cry, cry, cry...but i am fighting so hard not to because im afraid if i start....i will never stop.
my life is so far from where i wanted it to be. im not just off the track a little, i am soooo lost in the middle of woods and dont know east from west, north from south.
i keep telling everyone i am fine...im doing ok. better than expected. i keep showing my strong side to people all around me, but on the inside i am FREAKING OUT! i have so many fears. i just want to quit and freeze time right where it is because even though things arent great...they wont be able to get worse.
im sooooo scared of failing, being alone, being broke, losing what little i have left, not having any real friendships in the end, wasting time, being homeless, not being happy.
and in what order am i supposed to prioritize my fears??? how does one even know how to start all over when life takes a turn in the opposite direction? who does one trust when you think everyone is judging you or telling you advice that is superficial or in "their" best interest? how does one learn to live alone when they fear being lonely allllll the time? how does one find that happy medium place between what was and what may be?
and here the tears come....like a waterfall of emotions built up from the past 3-4 months or so.
i have friends, but do i really? who? which ones are "really" my friends...who will "actually" be their for me during the hard times and not just when im in a good mood? why do i always feel like i am initiating everything as of late...and that people (friends, co-workers, family) only go with the flow to avoid hurting my feelings? why why why...i have a million and one questions and thoughts, without any of the answers. do i really even want the answers?
im drowning in attention as of late...but is it all that great? is it really meaningful? maybe it's because i dont have a life and im just the "convenient" friend...the one who is almost always available. i dont know.
ok im done venting for now....just felt the need to let it all out. sorry...im just hormonal and emotional right now...ugh...being a girl sucks!
Monday, March 29, 2010
love nonsense
i had a bf
we broke up
actually i broke up with him
we were too much too friends
not enough bf-gf
i have a work crush
i told him
he said he had a crush on me too
we flirt
i flirt with everyone
but the work crush and i flirt
i had co-workers over for game night
work crush came too
we flirted but not as much as at work
fast forward
im going out with my roomie to have fun
work crush calls
he meets us, brings a friend
i had one more drink than i usually do
i wasnt my typical me
im pretty sure work crush likes another girl
but is too much of a nice guy to just tell me
but yet he drops such subtle, stupid mixed signals
did i mention he brought a friend with
my roomie and his friend knew each other...small world
we all laugh and have a good time
work crush's friend completely has a crush on me
i text work crush..thanks for friday
i get a crappy, fairly meaningless response
i get frustrated and confused
ex bf messages me from florida..hes confused, mad
i dont know what to tell him
i just want everyone to be honest
i just want my life to be normal
i just want to be me...really just me
stupid love nonsense is what this all is
off to bed i go...to hopefully dream nothing at all
we broke up
actually i broke up with him
we were too much too friends
not enough bf-gf
i have a work crush
i told him
he said he had a crush on me too
we flirt
i flirt with everyone
but the work crush and i flirt
i had co-workers over for game night
work crush came too
we flirted but not as much as at work
fast forward
im going out with my roomie to have fun
work crush calls
he meets us, brings a friend
i had one more drink than i usually do
i wasnt my typical me
im pretty sure work crush likes another girl
but is too much of a nice guy to just tell me
but yet he drops such subtle, stupid mixed signals
did i mention he brought a friend with
my roomie and his friend knew each other...small world
we all laugh and have a good time
work crush's friend completely has a crush on me
i text work crush..thanks for friday
i get a crappy, fairly meaningless response
i get frustrated and confused
ex bf messages me from florida..hes confused, mad
i dont know what to tell him
i just want everyone to be honest
i just want my life to be normal
i just want to be me...really just me
stupid love nonsense is what this all is
off to bed i go...to hopefully dream nothing at all
Thursday, March 25, 2010
my likes
things in life that i like:
-chocolate kisses...those little candies wrapped in tinfoil are just so yummy
-sleeping with way too many pillows
-wearing a big, baggy sweatshirt with a pair of jeans
-taking pictures of people
-my co-workers! they make work interesting
-Cabo, my little four-legged furry prince charming
-sitting on my porch with flo soaking up the sun
-diet mt. dew when really stressed
-a good suspense thriller that keeps me guessing
-floating on the river at my dads house
-when a boy makes the first move and asks me to lunch/movie (hasnt ever happened before...just like the idea)
-family video game nights--fun fun
-chap stick
-big sexy trucks
-flirting
-rocky rococos pizza
-the color green
-my blanket (yes i have a blanket)
-wearing flipflops year round
-toblerone chocolate (started with chocolate...might as well end with chocolate)
-chocolate kisses...those little candies wrapped in tinfoil are just so yummy
-sleeping with way too many pillows
-wearing a big, baggy sweatshirt with a pair of jeans
-taking pictures of people
-my co-workers! they make work interesting
-Cabo, my little four-legged furry prince charming
-sitting on my porch with flo soaking up the sun
-diet mt. dew when really stressed
-a good suspense thriller that keeps me guessing
-floating on the river at my dads house
-when a boy makes the first move and asks me to lunch/movie (hasnt ever happened before...just like the idea)
-family video game nights--fun fun
-chap stick
-big sexy trucks
-flirting
-rocky rococos pizza
-the color green
-my blanket (yes i have a blanket)
-wearing flipflops year round
-toblerone chocolate (started with chocolate...might as well end with chocolate)
Monday, March 22, 2010
"breakeven"
"Breakeven" by the script
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no
What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no
What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Friday, March 12, 2010
flo anne!
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO FLORENCE ANNE!!!!!
I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND!!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND!!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
complicated
I'm so scared that the way that I feel,
Is written all over my face.
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you.
So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again, I don't. It's so complicated.
Oh..just when I think I'm under control.
I think I finally got a grip.
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend,
they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me
from the corner of your eye.
Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd be losing,
if your answer wasn't yes.
So complicated I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel.
Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated.
Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited.
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do.
Oh should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
I want you to know,but then again I don't.
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated.
Ohh..
"Complicated"
by:
Carolyn Dawn Johnson
Is written all over my face.
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you.
So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel?
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again, I don't. It's so complicated.
Oh..just when I think I'm under control.
I think I finally got a grip.
Another friend tells me that,
My name is always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend,
they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me
from the corner of your eye.
Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd be losing,
if your answer wasn't yes.
So complicated I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel.
Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated.
Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited.
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do.
Oh should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
I want you to know,but then again I don't.
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated.
Ohh..
"Complicated"
by:
Carolyn Dawn Johnson
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
birthday-casino update
casino trip on saturday was interesting.
i lost all the money i took..boooo. and andy broke even, which is good.
we went to pizza hut in red wing before leaving town and they screwed up and gave our pizza away to delivery so we got our meal free with almost makes up for my losses, ha. not! but free pizza is always a nice surprise.
no more casino trips for a while!
i lost all the money i took..boooo. and andy broke even, which is good.
we went to pizza hut in red wing before leaving town and they screwed up and gave our pizza away to delivery so we got our meal free with almost makes up for my losses, ha. not! but free pizza is always a nice surprise.
no more casino trips for a while!
Friday, February 5, 2010
mild amusement
so i have three roommates. one is my very best friend ever. one is a girl i went to high school with. one is a friend of the girl i went to high school with.
so for my birthday....
my very best friend ever roommate texts me like an hour before my birthday actually occurs. she writes on my facebook wall wishing me a happy birthday. she even gets me a card and chocolate candy (the best chocolate candy ever) for a present.
the friend of the girl i went to high school roommate sees me a couple times throughout the day yesterday and doesnt say anything...but by the end of the night she slips in an "oops i keep forgetting to tell you...HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
so finally,
the girl i went to high school with roommate....DOES NOTHING. i see her a good 5-6 times in person throughout the day and not a once does she say happy birthday to me casually. i figure ok, shes not saying it because she is gonna write it on my facebook wall and thinks that is plenty. NOPE...NOTHING. i think ok she is just waiting until right before the end of the night then she will wish me a happy birthday...NOTHING. so i know we are the greatest of friends...merely roommates is all we are, but really? she cannot say she didnt know because it is on our house calender, i was making cupcakes and flo was dropping hints that it was my bday and i shouldnt be baking for others...they should bake for me, oh yeah and the fact that facebook tells you when your friends' birthdays are. NOTHING.
so what does this mean? absolutely nothing really. except the fact that i couldnt care less about wishing her a happy birthday come march. i will not be going out of my way to be friendly. and i am done. if someone cannot suck it up and wish someone a happy flippen' birthday on THEIR day then i dont want them in my life. go ahead roommate who i went to high school with...be a snot. no one cares...or at least i dont. you have gained a whole lot of nothing from me in the respect department. if you are that oblivious, immature, or cruel then go, run...i dont want nor need you in my life to ruin my day.
HA HA just lovely aint it? am i bitter....meh. i suppose a little, but i'm about over it until the next crappy thing she does then i am sure that it'll come back up full force and i'll vent about it all over again and then move on.
ok part 2 of birthday celebration to be continued saturday at the casino...expect an update!
so for my birthday....
my very best friend ever roommate texts me like an hour before my birthday actually occurs. she writes on my facebook wall wishing me a happy birthday. she even gets me a card and chocolate candy (the best chocolate candy ever) for a present.
the friend of the girl i went to high school roommate sees me a couple times throughout the day yesterday and doesnt say anything...but by the end of the night she slips in an "oops i keep forgetting to tell you...HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
so finally,
the girl i went to high school with roommate....DOES NOTHING. i see her a good 5-6 times in person throughout the day and not a once does she say happy birthday to me casually. i figure ok, shes not saying it because she is gonna write it on my facebook wall and thinks that is plenty. NOPE...NOTHING. i think ok she is just waiting until right before the end of the night then she will wish me a happy birthday...NOTHING. so i know we are the greatest of friends...merely roommates is all we are, but really? she cannot say she didnt know because it is on our house calender, i was making cupcakes and flo was dropping hints that it was my bday and i shouldnt be baking for others...they should bake for me, oh yeah and the fact that facebook tells you when your friends' birthdays are. NOTHING.
so what does this mean? absolutely nothing really. except the fact that i couldnt care less about wishing her a happy birthday come march. i will not be going out of my way to be friendly. and i am done. if someone cannot suck it up and wish someone a happy flippen' birthday on THEIR day then i dont want them in my life. go ahead roommate who i went to high school with...be a snot. no one cares...or at least i dont. you have gained a whole lot of nothing from me in the respect department. if you are that oblivious, immature, or cruel then go, run...i dont want nor need you in my life to ruin my day.
HA HA just lovely aint it? am i bitter....meh. i suppose a little, but i'm about over it until the next crappy thing she does then i am sure that it'll come back up full force and i'll vent about it all over again and then move on.
ok part 2 of birthday celebration to be continued saturday at the casino...expect an update!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
tomorrow = 23rd
so tomorrow is my birthday. i will be 23 years old. i dont have anything too special planned as of yet. might end up just being dinner at the texas roadhouse. by dinner i mean late dinner cuz andy didnt ask off and got scheduled for one shift the entire week.....can you guess which one...my birthday yup! oh well. he only works until 7 so the night can still be salvageable, but we'll see what mood i am in. i dont work at all tomorrow...so i'll probably spend my day making cup cakes!
then saturday...im going to the casino..treasure island to be exact! it should be a nice getaway!!! provided i dont lose all of my money :)
so here is to crossing fingers that my birthday ends up being special and fun instead of its usual lack-luster, boring day.
then saturday...im going to the casino..treasure island to be exact! it should be a nice getaway!!! provided i dont lose all of my money :)
so here is to crossing fingers that my birthday ends up being special and fun instead of its usual lack-luster, boring day.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
no school....so weird
today was the first day of the spring semester for uwec and andy and the roommates all returned today, while i was left out. it's weird. probably didnt help that i had today off from work and have yet to find that second job (i've been lazy). that aside, it's still weird. i miss school. i have this urge to go and pretend to be a student again, but those days are over for now at least. time to be an adult, right? pffft. i am hoping that andy will at least let me help with some of his homework to ease my suffering, ha ha. im all graduated, which most students pray for the day to come quick, and here i am complaining that i am all grown up. confusing and messed up, huh?
what can i say, i really did love school.
i dont work tomorrow either, but i will busy myself with getting my blinker light replaced on my car, scrapbooking, movie-sunshine cleaning, and whatever else i can get my hands on to keep me UN bored.
also, i have become a fan of the series true blood, but unfortunately have just finished the entire first season of it on dvd (thank you to myself for having my sales be good enough to qualify for free rentals)!!! but sadly the second season is not due to come out until may. poo on that.
flo doesnt have class tomorrow either, perhaps she and i will end up being up to no good, since we tend to spark each others mischievous sides he he he!
what can i say, i really did love school.
i dont work tomorrow either, but i will busy myself with getting my blinker light replaced on my car, scrapbooking, movie-sunshine cleaning, and whatever else i can get my hands on to keep me UN bored.
also, i have become a fan of the series true blood, but unfortunately have just finished the entire first season of it on dvd (thank you to myself for having my sales be good enough to qualify for free rentals)!!! but sadly the second season is not due to come out until may. poo on that.
flo doesnt have class tomorrow either, perhaps she and i will end up being up to no good, since we tend to spark each others mischievous sides he he he!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
quick recap on the recent events/ideas
1. my unofficial grandpa Joe passed away last night a little after midnight. he was my cousin megan and lynsey's grandpa, but has been with the walters family for the past 7/8+ years and has been the closest thing to a grandpa i have had since i lost my grandpa a few years back. RIP Joe, you were an amazing man and you will be missed.
2. i am heading back to La Crosse tomorrow through Wednesday to spend some good quality time with my family and andy's family, since my graduation weekend and x-mas were just busy run all over times. i am also looking forward to seeing my baby Cabo. I just love that little kitty so much.
3. i desperately need a second job or just one full time one to start saving money for mine and andy's future together once he graduates in May. the thing is...i am kinda lazy right now and keep putting it off. so the goal for next week is to apply to at least 5 places...key word at least!!!! dont get me wrong, i love working at Family Video because my co-workers are awesome and we do get a little variety with the work, but....the hours i get are just not enough, nor are they consistent.
4. i recently was spontaneous and took up scrapbooking! i bought a few things to get started and i have already completed two full pages. I hope this trend continues, because a) it is something i have wanted to do for a while now, but just never started b) it is a more pleasant and productive way to pass the time, especially when bored and c) i really think i might enjoy this!!!
that's all for now...i got to get back to my laundry, get lunch ready for andy when he gets home from work, and pack for home!
2. i am heading back to La Crosse tomorrow through Wednesday to spend some good quality time with my family and andy's family, since my graduation weekend and x-mas were just busy run all over times. i am also looking forward to seeing my baby Cabo. I just love that little kitty so much.
3. i desperately need a second job or just one full time one to start saving money for mine and andy's future together once he graduates in May. the thing is...i am kinda lazy right now and keep putting it off. so the goal for next week is to apply to at least 5 places...key word at least!!!! dont get me wrong, i love working at Family Video because my co-workers are awesome and we do get a little variety with the work, but....the hours i get are just not enough, nor are they consistent.
4. i recently was spontaneous and took up scrapbooking! i bought a few things to get started and i have already completed two full pages. I hope this trend continues, because a) it is something i have wanted to do for a while now, but just never started b) it is a more pleasant and productive way to pass the time, especially when bored and c) i really think i might enjoy this!!!
that's all for now...i got to get back to my laundry, get lunch ready for andy when he gets home from work, and pack for home!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
epic failure at wine drinking
this is the second night now in the past three that i have made plans to crack open and enjoy a glass of my moscato d'asti bottle of wine and fail to follow through on it.
i fail.
the first night i forgot to grab the bottle opener thingy.
i fail.
tonight i got done with work at 10pm, got home at 11pm and ate until full with no room for any wine.
i fail.
tomorrow night...i shall enjoy a glass and make florence have one too!!!
i fail.
the first night i forgot to grab the bottle opener thingy.
i fail.
tonight i got done with work at 10pm, got home at 11pm and ate until full with no room for any wine.
i fail.
tomorrow night...i shall enjoy a glass and make florence have one too!!!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
im a big girl now
p.s. i thought it necessary to mention (although a little delayed) i graduated from UW-Eau Claire on December 19th, 2009! woot woot i am an alum!
i hope i made my daddy proud!
i hope i made my daddy proud!
issues
some issues are worth discussing. others are not.
some issues are more important than others.
some issues are just plain stupid.
some issues are silly.
some are serious.
some issues make me laugh, while others make me angry.
some issues stress me out.
some issues...some issues...why are there always some issues.
my current issue...pfffft....ha ha i have a dumb person in my life (who will remain nameless) and this person aggravates me to the extreme and makes me want to laugh uncontrollably for hours. point being i'm stuck with this person for another 5 months or so...so some issues will never disappear, but i suppose that's life, right?
some issues are more important than others.
some issues are just plain stupid.
some issues are silly.
some are serious.
some issues make me laugh, while others make me angry.
some issues stress me out.
some issues...some issues...why are there always some issues.
my current issue...pfffft....ha ha i have a dumb person in my life (who will remain nameless) and this person aggravates me to the extreme and makes me want to laugh uncontrollably for hours. point being i'm stuck with this person for another 5 months or so...so some issues will never disappear, but i suppose that's life, right?
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