so i keep dreaming about sam. every flippen night..he has a guest appearance in my dream world...it's so dumb. i cant even find piece when im sleeping, let alone the battle i have with my thoughts when im awake. fml. last night was the kicker...my dream was beyond weird. i was back in school. and danita was in class with me, it was an english-history mix (kinda like the one i had in high school). she and i sat in the first row together and sam sat kitty corner behind us and who sat next to him...tracy did. sooo dumb...why does she get the luxury of guest starring in my dream too....as if i am not already threatened by her because she is a) prettier than me b) sam's first and c) apparently still hanging out with him now that he and i dont "hang out."
and not only was my dream a nightmare because of the people in it...the dream itself was crappy because we were in an english-history class learning about horrible, awful murders by these two brothers back in the late 1800s...we took a field trip to where some of the murders occurred. then the dream turned into this scary haunted house like vibe where the murderers were still there and hunting us all...but at this point it was just me and a few other random people running and hiding for our lives. of course there was no knight in shining armor, but i guess i should be thankful that my phone alarm went off so therefore i did not die in my dream...it's probably just left "to be continued." oh joy...im soo looking to finishing that dream. ick. pass. i hope that tonight i am soooo exhausted after closing at work that i just crash instead! yes please!!
it's just so frustrating...i want to be either a) rid of all things and thoughts- sam or b) just find some closure in talking to him and just finding a happy medium where it's just not dumb anymore...no more wondering....just talk so i can move forward, because he clearly has.
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