last night was the first night i attempted sleep w/o the aid of my dear friend Nyquil and slept great as far as my cold and coughing was concerned. as far as dreamworld goes, i was tortured all night long by his face. every single moment of my dreams that i remember was consumed by him. why do i punish myself. isnt sleep suppose to be the one time of day i can be free of stress and crap like that? apparently i am not so lucky. each time i woke up from love not sparing me a moment of peace last night i would roll over/switch to a different position on the couch. and yet again my thoughts, emotions, heart failed me...i would just enter a new situation (dream) in which he was there smack dab in front of me. seriously? is it too much to ask to simply have 7-8hrs a day free of drowning in thoughts of him. good god, help me! and now on my day off...i am sad and lack ambition to do the things i had intended to get done today, because here i sit on my couch thinking of him and missing the loser. and to add insult to injury i KNOW he ISNT thinking of me, for if he were...it wouldnt be just a thought there would be action. if he were thinking of me at all, he would have contacted by now. so why do i waste my time thinking of someone who thinks nothing of me?
self-reflect time? meh not today...maybe on my next day off
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