last night was both interesting and fun. but here i sit alone sunday night wondering what he's doing, where he is, why he never responded, wondering if i even crossed his mind today.  i get so many confusing, mixed signals from him.  he lets his walls down when its just the two of us and yet he just cant seem to let me in, not even half way in. does he not know i would practically lay down in front of moving car to save him.  does he not know i would give him more than i would ever expect back in equal terms...and i would do it all for a simple commitment. is it that he cares absolutely nothing for me other than when he's "desperate" as our friend and him joke. or is it he is scared to show me that he might actually like me and have feelings for me. i might just be crazy. i am crazy. but im a woman in love. madly in love. madly in love with a boy. i want more from him, but i doubt i'll ever get what i want and am starting to need. ugh. this sucks. love sucks.