Tomorrow I start my first final and I am dreading it because the part that was supposed to be the gimme points, the written take home section, is unbelievably hard and I am only half way done with it. I will not even begin to bore you with the details, I'll just tell you it has to do with Bolivia and its lithium reserves and somewhere down the road connecting it to electric cars. Anyway after that, I have four more finals actually during finals week starting Monday. As soon as I finish my last exam next Thursday night I will be officially done with another semester and summer will be here. I am nervous for summer because I really still don't know what I want to do. I want to be with Andrew no matter what, which means packing up and heading back to La Crosse. I am nervous for La Crosse. I am always nervous for extended visits or stays back in La Crosse. Drama almost always happens between my family, especially my brother. And something inside me is saying that this summer will be no different. Not only am I nervous to head back home for the drama issue, it's the job issue too. So realistically I have never worked a day in my life of the "normal" type of work. I have always worked for my dad doing mass mailings, book keeping, cleaning apartments, etc. This has always been one of those you come and leave as you please jobs, never needed to check in and check out. I am nervous that I won't find a job this summer to help pass the time and make some money because no one will want an unexperienced cashier or whatever, especially in this economy it will be difficult to find one. The problem is I want absolutely nothing to do with food or the food industry, not because I am stuck up, it's just I know how I am...and well....I am a klutz, clumsy, trip over my own feet type of girl. Put me with food....and I'll unwantingly make it end up on someone's head. I am nervous because this will be my last last LAST summer in between school semesters.....I graduate in Decemeber and have absolutely no idea what to do, what I want to do, and what I will end up doing. Ahhhh. But I'm going to push that little issue aside for now, until I am ready for that panic attack later. My goal is to focus on small things, small projects, fun things, family things, andy things, and leaving myself with only one really big project on hand to deal with. What are all of these things you might ask....
small things = trying to take care of more of the laundry so my mom doesnt have to, mowing the grass here and there since the yard is enormous, dreaming about my someday wedding and looking at options
small projects = try to get andy and me into a little better shape (mostly by walking/biking), perhaps if I find a job early enough take a little money and start that scrapbook I've always thought about doing, help my mom with a rummage sale
fun things= floating and sunbathing more on the river, hanging out with my dad more to go fishing, definitely catching up on some movies I missed over the school year (on those too hot to go outside nights)
family things=meet my two new little baby cousins, go to the in-law's welcome back party for Ken (he was in Iraq), help my sis-in-law get prepared for abroad, spend more times with my daddy, family reunion on June 6th, and hopefully get closer with my brother
andy things= more cuddling, more picnics, a road trip to either the dells or amusement park, take more pictures of us (we always fail at this because we forget), just be together more whether it be with his rents or mine
ONE BIG PROJECT =get my mom prepared! she needs to sell her house because I have a gut feeling that Altra will not work with us to reduce the loan payment and buy it from Colonial. I need to help her and stay on her about getting rid of crap none of us dont and wont need anymore, selling those things that she doesnt want to throw away but doesnt realistically need to keep, and packing up those things that are dear to her and she could never part with in an effort to get her ready. I will not happen this month or next month....but I, sadly, predict my childhood home will need to be sold by no later than october-ish....unless a miracle happens. Either way the house is too big for her to keep for herself and the cats, but I would love for her to be able to pack and move at her own pace rather than the pace of the courts.
I don't ever ask this...but please pray for not me...but my mom. She works very hard at everything she does, and doesn't stop at anything to keep my and my brother happy. She IS without doubt in my mind "The Greatest Mom" in the world. I love my mom with all of my heart and wish I could save her from this horrible nightmare called forclosure, but I know I can't. So all I ask of you is to pray for her...not for money, not for the house....just pray that she survives this emotionally and mentally and isn't ashamed or embarrassed. I love my mom!!!
well that's all for now...I best be getting ready for jazz class soon. wish me luck on my final tomorrow!
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